I’ve gone through a lot of emotions whilst Hugo has been in hospital, sadness, frustration, anger, joy, but the one I have found hardest to deal with has been guilt.
I felt guilty that I had let my little man get poorly and I couldn’t make it better.
Guilty that I had to leave Kyle sobbing to be at the hospital with Hugo.
Guilty that I can’t be with Hugo all the time because my other boys need me too.
But the biggest feeling of guilt has been in the parents room, seeing parents that have lost their babies, parents whose babies aren’t getting better, parents of babies that will never get better.
I feel guilty that Hugo is getting better and their child isn’t, I really don’t know how to explain it but I’m find it really hard each time I see it.
One thing I do know is Im going to cherish every minute that I have with all my children as life is far to short.